are you meeting the people where they are?

For a long time, I was so self-absorbed that I was blind to what was happening around me.

One remarkable quality you can observe in children is their innate ability to tune into their environement. Although they may struggle to articulate their feelings, they instinctively react. My upbringing deprived me of the capacity to understand my own emotions, needs, and physical sensations.

Being repeatedly told that expressing my emotions was inadequate caused me to shut out external and internal stimuli. I lost the ability to create that space Viktor Frankl speaks of—the space between the stimulus and my reaction. I treated everything as a battle to win, even when there was no war going on.

Whether I was mentally formulating my next response while listening or offering unsolicited advice during conversations, I failed to read the situations. I suppressed my emotions and internalized all my frustrations. I was out of tune with myself, and as a result, I couldn't attune to others.

I've noticed that when I consciously pause and listen with the intention to understand, I manage to set aside my own opinions and judgments. Approaching conversations with a curious mind, and asking questions instead of making statements, changes everything.

I believe many conflicts could be resolved in this way. #beStill #listen #observe.